hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
