I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
