Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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