Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize