At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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