ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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