WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
