i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
