Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Swine flu is the new snow day.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
