My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
