i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
