maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
