I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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