I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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