dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize