Buhtt sex?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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