Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
