On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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