Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
