Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize