He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
