I just cut my nipple shaving
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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