Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
