i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
