I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
