I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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