No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
