i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
