it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
