Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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