sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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