Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
