do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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