I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
