Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
