i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
