he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
