The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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