i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
