guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Congratulations! We have a period
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