I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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