Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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