This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
