went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
