You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
