easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
