After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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