piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
