I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
