cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
