I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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