no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
