she was so not down for the gang bang
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize