margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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