idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Randomize
