you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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