You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
