can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just pee around me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
