They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
