So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
