if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
