sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
