My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
