David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize