Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
