just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
